Finding confidence in myself I had lost so long ago

Here I find myself again turning to my writing to get my emotions out. This time I feel like I have waited way too long to do this. I know it clears my mind but I think I have been almost fearing it? I have been going through alot of ups and downs of the past few weeks and some I could talk about and others well not so much. It has been not easy but I have made it through it I think with a smile and being honest with myself.

I think another reason for the lack of blog is I felt I had to do this without writing and the hearing the feedback from it to know I was making the right choices. I wanted to stumble and pick myself up and I have done so. I'm fairly happy with my life. Granted it is not the perfect life one would see in there day dreams or when they picture what would be a dream life but who really ever gets that? My idea of my perfection is the friends and family I have around me that can make me laugh. My perfection is just the simple things that give my life more meaning then the day before. The smile or thank you of helping someone or lately the smile and thank you from me to someone else for doing the same for me.

I'm starting to have a better self image of myself but I have a long ways to go yet. I know that I will never see myself as others will. I'm ok with that and I'm not sad of that fact. I know that the person I am is the best I can be for me. I just do what feels right and look at myself and content and that is good enough to me. I no longer look for others to tell me that I'm ok. It is not that it is not still great to hear but I dont NEED it no more to feel happy. I can make myself happy thank you but I so do love to share my happy times. :)

Well I am still feeling a little scattered as to my thoughts but I think that is okay I dont have to know it all and leave with the happy high from writing lol. It is a nice high but I dont think I need it. I do have a bit of peace in my heart right now though and that is kind of nice. A content feeling like I know I'm in the right frame of mind and if I just stick to it the things in my life will fall into place and will be happy. I just have to have the patients for the baby steps and for the waiting. An to not doubt myself. Be the silly girl that I have been so many times in the past. Show confidence in myself... Even if at times I am still very much the scared little Wisconsin girl. Atleast I have my voice now though and with that I will not ever stay that or really go back to that. An knowing that tonight. makes me happy!

Thanks for reading again..

Lost Wisconsin Girl