It has been a few days since I have wrote on here and I am going to try to not do that anymore. I am going to save time and spare the details but I have not had a way to write for a few days but I am back now. Did yall miss me? LOL!
Well I guess I can say I am doing good today. I'm really starting to get used to just letting life come and taking it for what it is. I would love to say my life is one excitement after another but it is not. I kind of like that it is not though. I like what it is. I'm enjoying it for what it is the good and the bad. I have faced a lot of my fears and have found I truely like myself more then I had thought. I'm not holding on to what I should of done or could have done. I'm doing what I can do and I'm enjoying what I do have. I guess you could say I'm triying to know what I have before it is gone. An no longer miss out on life spending it on the what if.
I also realized where I thought I didnt care what people thought I cared so much I didnt even realized it. I lived my life in fear of being myself and speaking out cause I would hurt peoples feelings or I would be looked at as something bad. I took the risk finally and spoke out though and that didnt happen. All that was just a unrealistic fear that I had created in my mind. I hurt myslef and others more by thinking they would be that way and if I wouldnt have I would of never went through that.
My voice is back and it is louder then ever. I have started reaching out more to people and speaking my story on here and a few other places I will soon have links to on here. I have started to unclutter my life and really starting to enjoy it. Both my mind and my actual things. I had a storage building that is now empty and going to be saving money there. I was holding on to stuff that was not worth holding on to and was time to let it go. Time to let go of all the things holding me back.
I am braver then I ever thought I was and I have been thinking on that a lot lately. I left home and all I knew for a chance to be happy. I'm here in Texas cause I thought it was right and I took that chance. I do all these things and spend so much thought on crazy ideas and goofy side. Taking so much time to not to be me and to be all these things for everyone else and to make people happy if I just step back. Look at the world and everything around me. Clean out my mind and my life I could do so much and be so happy with me.
I have to say I know now I dont need anyone to make me happy. I dont need aproval from anyone but me. No longer to do I fear speaking my mind cause as long as they are honest words from me. As long as I stick to my moral compas than I cant go wrong. The minute I stop doing that I will be letting down myself first and everyone else cause I'm not thinking them good enough to be myself for. No more will I do that to me and the people that care about me. I'm not going to short change myself and them any longer. I can be a great person. I do have a big heart and want to be a help to people I care for. There is so many things I want to do and the best way to do that is be myself and just go and do it! No fear and no slowing!
Everyday I wake up smiling and wondering what next. Good and bad things happen sure but one thing is and will keep making me smile is the fact that there is a tomorrow. I'm living my life and I'm no longer holding back. So come what may I am ready for it.
0 comments:
Post a Comment